For anything that doesn't quite fit into any other category.
2013 posts Page 1 of 202
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Russ, this thread is started for you since you made me laugh many many times in your joke thread. :lol:

There are these new drugs on the market and I for one need some of these:

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN


D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.


E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by
reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and
how you couldn't wait till they moved out.


ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering
preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.


P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed
before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.


DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ,
resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.


F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road
rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.


M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to
such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "


BUYAGRA
Injectible stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency,
duration, and credit limit of spending spree.


J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember
your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the
toilet seat.


N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same
irritation level as nagging him.
Jen Clark
Canon 7D/50D, 5D Mark II, Lenses: 16-35m 2.8L, 85m 1.2L, 85m 1.8, 50m 1.8 II, 70-200 2.8 IS II, 1.4 extender
Currently working with CS5/LR3/Aperture 2
http://imagesbyjeniferclark.com ...Images by Jenifer Clark...
Here is an easy Turkey Recipe for Thanksgiving...........Mine anyway.

Subject: Easy turkey recipe

Here is a turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a
stuffing - imagine that! When I found this recipe, I thought
it as perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell
when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.

BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN


16-17 lb. baking turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHERS LOW FAT)

Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter,
salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking
pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.

Listen for the popping sounds.

When the turkey's a$$ blows the oven door open and the turkey
flies across the room, it is done.

And you thought I couldn't cook.
Jen Clark
Canon 7D/50D, 5D Mark II, Lenses: 16-35m 2.8L, 85m 1.2L, 85m 1.8, 50m 1.8 II, 70-200 2.8 IS II, 1.4 extender
Currently working with CS5/LR3/Aperture 2
http://imagesbyjeniferclark.com ...Images by Jenifer Clark...
THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one." To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Be-otch."

This is really funny because this fully describes a dear friend of mine who was a bartender.....similar jobs.
Jen Clark
Canon 7D/50D, 5D Mark II, Lenses: 16-35m 2.8L, 85m 1.2L, 85m 1.8, 50m 1.8 II, 70-200 2.8 IS II, 1.4 extender
Currently working with CS5/LR3/Aperture 2
http://imagesbyjeniferclark.com ...Images by Jenifer Clark...
Jen, you could have posted these on the thread I had just started:
http://www.photoshopcreativeelements.com/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=406 :(
Reka
CS3 on Vista, Nikon D40 (50mm1.4, 18-55mm and 70-300mm VR) and FIREFOX
ImageMOM

My galleries <------------------> My blog
Yikes Reka, I didn't even see that one, sorry but I guess now we have 2. :oops:
Jen Clark
Canon 7D/50D, 5D Mark II, Lenses: 16-35m 2.8L, 85m 1.2L, 85m 1.8, 50m 1.8 II, 70-200 2.8 IS II, 1.4 extender
Currently working with CS5/LR3/Aperture 2
http://imagesbyjeniferclark.com ...Images by Jenifer Clark...
Well, how about if I move my post here under yours? But I like the name funny pages. What would you say?
Reka
CS3 on Vista, Nikon D40 (50mm1.4, 18-55mm and 70-300mm VR) and FIREFOX
ImageMOM

My galleries <------------------> My blog
works for me.
Jen Clark
Canon 7D/50D, 5D Mark II, Lenses: 16-35m 2.8L, 85m 1.2L, 85m 1.8, 50m 1.8 II, 70-200 2.8 IS II, 1.4 extender
Currently working with CS5/LR3/Aperture 2
http://imagesbyjeniferclark.com ...Images by Jenifer Clark...
Here's one that came into my inbox today:

Attachments

Reka
CS3 on Vista, Nikon D40 (50mm1.4, 18-55mm and 70-300mm VR) and FIREFOX
ImageMOM

My galleries <------------------> My blog
Jen and Reka, these are really funny.

Jen, since you have merged the two threads why don't you change the title to Funny Pages...Joke of the Day or something like that. Since you started the thread you can go to your first post and edit it and change the title.

Kim
My Creations
Canon 40D, Canon 28-135mm IS lens, Canon 300D, Canon 18-55mm lens, CS3


Kimz Kreationz Blog
On my way............. :P
Jen Clark
Canon 7D/50D, 5D Mark II, Lenses: 16-35m 2.8L, 85m 1.2L, 85m 1.8, 50m 1.8 II, 70-200 2.8 IS II, 1.4 extender
Currently working with CS5/LR3/Aperture 2
http://imagesbyjeniferclark.com ...Images by Jenifer Clark...
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