jenclark wrote: WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
You could always stay single.The garage is all yours.
You can't even back up the driveway without taking off the rear view mirror and you want to park in a 10'x12' garage? (Okay, sorry Jen, cheap shot)Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You really want Bar-b-que, Beer, and Bubba doing a naked cannonball into the pool?Chocolate is just another snack.
Just another mood enhanceing drug men are denied.You can be President.
Try telling that to Hilliary or Margaret Thatcher.You can never be pregnant.
...denied the joy of childbirth... You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Much more appreciated when you do.You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
See above answer and factor exponentially.Car mechanics tell you the truth.
That's only because we know when men are lying.The world is your urinal.
Yeah, as long as we lift the seat and put it down when we're done.You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
Yes we do!... because it's too icky for you!You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
No we don't... we just have to fix it for you after you have stripped the threads.Same work, more pay.
Women control half the money and all the gender.Wrinkles add character.
You wouldn't age so fast if you wouldn't put on all those chemicals in the form of cosmetics.Wedding dress: $5,000; tux rental $100.
...engagement ring $5,000, no more dutch treat, and we can't wait to get you out of that dress anyway... 
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
Well, at least they're paying some attention to you. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Like you're going to walk anywhere. We men are always chauffeuring you around.One mood all the time !
Like you are the ones that suffer for your mood shifts?!?!Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
We know what we gotta say and we say it.You know stuff about tanks.
Yeah, If there is someone nearby in a tank who don't like you... run!!! five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
What the heck is a vacation???? You can open all your own jars.
...and stuck opening yours too.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Didn't realize we were being graded on this.If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Hell... we just crash the party and bring our own bottle.Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Go commando... We like that!! Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Bare foot and pregnant doesn't require any.You almost never have strap problems in public.
Here again... Go commando.You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
We can see them. We just can't seem to find the iron.Everything on your face stays its original color.
But somehow women still seem to find fault with it.The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
Why do you think men prefer long hair on women... just let it grow.You only have to shave your face and neck.
...Thank god you don't. That's just to gay to think about. You can play with toys all your life.
... and when is that last time you heard the term "girl" toy?One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
So, we are no slaves to fashion... like that's a bad thing?You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
Vanity is not one of our strong suits.You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
Personally, I prefer biting them.You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Not if you plan on kissing someone.You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
There again... like that's a bad thing? No wonder men are happier.
Okay, you win. 
